When good advice isn’t working, try what the research says works.
Evidence-based help for defiance, meltdowns, ADHD and anxiety, from child clinicians who treat them.
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Tell us your child’s age and what feels difficult right now. You can add more anytime.
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The method that fits
the problem, said plainly.
Every Guide is written by child clinicians with PhDs in clinical psychology from Emory University. For everyday behavior, that means behavioral parent training: praise for the exact behavior you want more of, clear instructions, small rewards and brief, calm responses to the rest.
For worry, sleep or mealtimes, a Guide uses what the research supports for that problem. Each starts with a moment you’ll recognize and what to do first. One in every topic is free to read, with no account.
Sleep & routines
When bedtime keeps dragging on
The last story becomes three more stories, your child keeps leaving the bedroom, or everyone ends the evening arguing. For children ages 2–12, start by making tonight’s remaining steps clear. Avoid inventing a complicated new sleep plan in the middle of a difficult bedtime.
Check immediate needs such as the toilet, pain, thirst, or fear. Then name a short ending you can follow through on.
What you could say
We’ve brushed teeth and had our story. Now I’ll tuck you in, and then it’s quiet time.
Carry out that sequence. A quiet routine creates an opportunity for sleep; it cannot make a child fall asleep on command.
Find the part that is getting stuck
For several nights, note when the routine starts, roughly when your child falls asleep, wake time, naps, and repeated requests. You do not need to watch the clock all night.
A child who is not sleepy may spend a long time in bed. Another may be overtired by the time the routine starts. Worries, itching, breathing problems, stimulating activities, or needing help with a step can also matter. Do not assume every request is a tactic.
Ask an older child about the hardest part earlier in the day. With a younger child, watch whether the difficulty starts at separation, dressing, darkness, or a particular sensory experience.
Teach one step in a predictable routine
Choose a short sequence that covers necessary care. Prepare supplies and use pictures or a checklist if helpful. Keep waking and bedtime routines reasonably regular, allow winding-down time and move stimulating screens earlier. A schedule badly mismatched to sleepiness needs clinical advice, not hours of nightly struggle.
Pick one action to teach: closing the book and placing it on the shelf when reading ends. Let your child choose between books you can actually read. Do not remove tomorrow's story because tonight was difficult.
Earlier in the day, demonstrate closing the book. Let your child try in a short pretend bedtime game. Repeat a few easy turns on ordinary days, helping as needed. Start by praising closing it; add putting it away when closing is usually manageable. Practice your own quiet, warm response.
What you could say
You closed the book when we finished. Nicely done—now I'll help you put it away.
Praise immediately in practice and at bedtime, with warmth your child welcomes. Keep bedtime feedback quiet. Praise the chosen action even if disappointment remains; falling asleep or managing without needed comfort is not the target.
If a chart helps, give a sticker immediately with praise for that step. For example, a sticker can earn choosing the next day's family game. Agree the choice beforehand, keep earned stickers and preserve ordinary play, affection and care. As the routine becomes established, use the chart less while keeping warm praise.
Respond to the repeated request
When your child leaves the room, first check what is needed. Keep your response brief and low-key, and help them return to the planned quiet activity or bed. Do not lock the child in or use physical force to settle them.
If separation is the problem, agree on support beforehand. You might sit nearby briefly or make a planned check-in you can reliably keep.
What you could say
You’re worried about being on your own. I’ll sit by the door for a little while, then check on you after I put the dishes away.
Use a familiar event rather than an exact time if that is easier to understand. Keep the check-in. As settling becomes easier, discuss a small reduction in support instead of abruptly disappearing.
Review the pattern, not one night
For a week or two, record whether the practiced action happened and what help was needed, separately from sleep onset. Check that you used the cue, practice and praise together. If the step stays hard, simplify it or adjust one support; new health concerns need prompt attention.
Contact your child’s clinician about persistent sleep difficulty, loud habitual snoring, pauses or gasping during sleep, pain, significant daytime sleepiness, or worries that disrupt daily life. Breathing distress or difficulty waking a child needs urgent medical attention. Do not start sleep medicines or supplements simply to make the routine end.
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Built for kids who don’t fit the parenting books.
If you’re already doing the connection work, here’s the structure that helps it stick: specific praise for what’s going well, clear routines, small rewards and calm, predictable limits.
There are Guides for arguments and meltdowns, ADHD and autism, worries and fears, and getting mental health care.
For the moments
no Guide covers.
A Guide helps with one situation. Foundations teaches the skills behind all of them: setting up a moment so it’s more likely to go well, teaching the behavior you want to see, and responding when it happens.
Short lessons, about two minutes each, best taken in order. Every lesson has audio, so you can listen while you cook or drive.
Module 1Foundations Matter
Module 2Parenting Perspectives
Module 3Family Life
Module 4Setting the Stage
Module 5Core Techniques
Module 6Emotion Regulation
Module 7Building Connection
Module 8Know Your Kids
Ask about a moment,
with your child in mind.
Tonight’s bedtime or this morning’s meltdown, typed or spoken. The AI Advisor answers with the same approach as our Guides, and reads your child’s profile and recent notes, so you don’t start from scratch.
- Uses your notes and profile
- Memory you can turn off or clear
- A starting point, not a diagnosis
It won’t make up research or promise results, and it tells you when to get professional help.
Bedtime with Jamie is taking over an hour. Jamie keeps getting out of bed.
That’s a long end to the day. Before changing anything, it can help to notice when it runs longest. Is it worse after late screen time or a busy afternoon? If you see a pattern, plan around it: set up the evening, practice the routine, and praise Jamie each time Jamie stays in bed. Then see whether bedtime gets shorter.
Tap a follow-up, or switch who it’s about
See the pattern,
and what helps.
Write down what happened in a few words. ProParenting asks what led up to it, what you did and how it ended, then shows the pattern by day and time of day.
After a week or two, look back at what happened and which responses helped, and share your notes with a partner or your child’s therapist.
When it might be
more than a phase.
Guides name the signs that a pattern needs a professional, and the AI Advisor tells you when it’s time to get help.
Our Guides on mental health care cover finding the right professional, waiting for care and preparing for a first appointment.
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